


Always Then

by Shishitou



Series: Samt Und Stein [1]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Drabbles, Final Fantasy XIV: Shadowbringers Spoilers, Gen, M/M, Pining, i love valan and quinfort and i wish there was more for them outside just the one sidequest, idk what else to say but this is entirely self indulgent, relationships will be added when i get a better grasp of quinfort bc we support poly here, slowburn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-13 00:01:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28644117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shishitou/pseuds/Shishitou
Summary: Seventeen summers of on and off sleep, hidden away deep within Rak'tika, Tiresias would be found by the Warrior of Darkness- brought home as requested by his childhood friends. He's haunted by Hydaelyn, fearing he may never truly have a proper moments rest at the hands of Her influence and the Echo. There's no want or reason to bring it up, not where those he's held at a distance are concerned. As fate would have it, however, Valan continues to press into matters- if not out of concern, then out of something else entirely. A loss of space brings about a want to get better quicker than humanely possible, Tiresias has no other choice but to suck it up and let fate do its work. Eventually all will come to light.
Relationships: Valan/OC (Final Fantasy XIV)
Series: Samt Und Stein [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2099148
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Had to physically restrain myself from adding anything else to this. This is entirely self indulgent and I'm incredibly sorry to those who are about to subject themselves to this hot pile of garbage.

Silence hung heavy in the air as Tiresias lay in bed. Thoughts swirl about in his already cloudy mind, making it far more difficult to seek purchase on the reality he'd woken up to. Yet, he couldn't quite let go of the face he'd been met with upon coming to, brought back home where he'd been stuck floundering about in a dream. Had it not been for the strange mystel, there was a chance he'd never seen the faces of his dear friends again. 

Quinfort and his crazy babbling brought about a special form of comfort to the hume. Such antics would never change just as Valan's concern for his friends seemed to be a deep pool of water. One where Tiresias could never place a finger on just how far it went. 

All he could properly do is look upon the other hume with warmth brought to the surface in recent years. Perhaps it would be the fear of death that urged him to lift a hand, reach for the other's own when Valan would take the time to visit him. Give a squeeze and let loose a sigh, all before he would allow lips to part- all to let thoughts out into the open. 

" My dearest friend, " Murmur came, visibly pleased once he'd found Valan had yet to draw his hand back. " Tell me Quinfort has not found himself in any unnecessary trouble lately. No talk of calamities and such, that is. "

Silly quip earned Tiresias a chuckle from his friend, who for all intents and purposes had taken the time to seat himself by his bedside. It would be the hand that inched towards his face to brush bangs aside that would bring a huff from him. He only wished for an answer, no additional sentiments from Valan before the man's voice would reach his ears.

" Oh yes, he's taken to his role as a Keeper of the Whispers quite well, " Voice kept low would be laced with underlying tones of amusement, visible in the way Valan's lips curled into a smile. " There hasn't been any visions of anything dreadful on the horizon, nor any outright crazy claims our doom is nigh. Though, I must ask-,"

Brows quirk on Tiresias' end, only lifted further when Valan had tipped in to invade personal space. This is a first, he notes- unable to hide any imminent flush that would spread across his cheeks. Something rests at the tip of his tongue. A want to press and pry for whatever was on his friends mind to be uttered faster. He wasn't particularly the patient sort, nor would he ever be when it comes to personal affairs.

It would be his companion's hushed voice that would force Tiresias' gaze elsewhere. " How are you feeling today? " a pause, deliberately taken on Valan's end to brush knuckles over Tiresias' cheek. " You haven't had the strength to get out of bed lately. "

Concern Tiresias would've usually expected had caught him off guard for once. It left him wide-eyed, lips parted as he'd no clue how to immediately respond. Tender touches begets a shy response, left to mentally flounder as Tiresias went on to utter his reply, " I have otherwise felt rather tired, if not frustrated. But… " 

It would be Tiresias' turn to take it a step further, lifting their laced fingers up to his lips for the time being. There he would continue his response.

" My mood has lifted considerably since you have come to check on me, " A pause, taken so he might shift his gaze up towards Valan's countenance through lashes. Had there been a rosy tint that dusted itself across his cheeks? Perhaps it may be so, and that was enough for Tiresias. It was Valan's turn to struggle. That much Tiresias knew, given the expression he’d caught sight of- the raised brows, wide eyes that only stuck around for a split second. Truly, such a sight Tiresias would never grow tired of seeing. He could only pray that the privilege to see it more would present itself in the future.

" Ah, well, of course. If I hadn't come by what sort of friend would I be? " Reply starts with the hand rest on his cheek being drawn away- where Tiresias' lips would twitch, threatening to draw into a frown as Valan went on to add a quiet, " Both Quinfort and I would much prefer to see you hale and whole, Tiresias. Next time I come by I will be sure to bring Quinfort, too. "

" In the meantime,- "

No time was spared for Tiresias to respond properly when Valan went on ahead and rose to his feet. Eager to leave such sentiments behind, or rather what may come from it, the grip on Tiresias' hand loosened. That alone told Tiresias it was time to let go, let his friend be so he might go about his business. 

" I will go see about bringing you something to eat. You need it. " 

Frown finally won, drawing an already flat expression into a sour one. There's a turn to Tiresias' head, lulled to the side so he might stare at the wall. All he could muster was a quiet, " I have nowhere else to be, Valan, " whilst the footsteps of his friend showed signs of him preparing to leave. 

It would only be when Valan was presumed to be out of earshot did Tiresias fall apart. Hand would rise to rest over his eyes, idly rubbing at them with the threat of tears on the horizon. " I have known you all these years, yet I cannot even utter the simplest of phrases in the world. "

Once more would Tiresias find himself under the cover of an overwhelming silence. Only to be broken by a gentle sigh of his own. Perhaps, he muses, it would be far wiser to leave it be for now.

_Better to stay friends than take it any further, lest he wishes to break a heart should he perish._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is a cry for help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was going to make this like. worse. but uh. I GUESS?  
> please dont mind any errors

A rise in tension begets thinner patience. A want for more than gentle touches and even softer words brings about frustration. Where it is only made worse by the inability to function as one normally would. Even such a lovely face could not bring any sense of calm to Tiresias these days. He is left wanting nothing more than a chance to escape, hide away from unwanted eyes. Conceal himself so that the one he wished to be around the most would not catch him at his lowest point. As it were, fate is a cruel mistress and Tiresias found time alone was a rarity in itself. 

Fingers clasp about the handle of his cane, grip only tightening at the sound of an all too familiar gait creeping up behind him. Where Tiresias’ gaze had once taken in the sight of a home long since destroyed at the hands of Sin Eaters it would soon turn to shoot a glare over his shoulder. One obvious attempt to push another soul away once he’d caught sight of Valan’s approach, the other hume’s hand held up in an all too hesitant manner. It would be far too obvious that even Valan wasn’t sure if he should have come to seek Tiresias out himself. That alone was enough to earn a defeated sigh from Tiresias, shoulders slumping all the while. 

He may as well listen to what he had to say, even if it meant drawing his attention back to the remains of Fort Gohn. Continue his brooding in silence during this wait. A tick, two ticks, nothing save for the slowed steps coming to a stop behind him. Tiresias inhaled, form tensing up once more upon feeling the gentle touch of the other’s fingers upon his shoulders. This alone would be the stick that broke his Amaro’s back, where an exhale would be forced out through Tiresias’ nose whilst eyes fell to a close. 

“ Out with it, Valan. “ Came the hiss, jaw clenched all the while. Oh what he would give to have the strength to run away. “ Can you not see I wish to be alone? ”

Hostile response earned Tiresias a firmer grip upon the shoulder. It would be done for the sake of turning him towards the other, with nary a tick of time in his favor to react. Just like that he’d be face to face with a countenance he’d tried so hard to avoid. Despite being put in this position, he couldn’t quite look directly into what he once found to be a warm emerald gaze. Something once so easy to fall into had quickly grown cold at the hands of mistreatment and concern. This was the price to pay when one desperately tries to push someone else away.

“ What I see is someone who needs rest, “ that was firm, bordering on the edge of being a downright scolding. That much was clear as day in the other’s gaze, coupling the furrowed brows and lips drawn taut to the side. “ And, you have obviously been pushing yourself beyond your limits, Tiresias. ” 

That final statement Tiresias knew to be true as the grip around his cane tightened further. Despite his body’s cries to lay down- the start of a tremble in already sore muscles pushed beyond their limit in a long trek from Slitherbough to Fort Gohn-, there was every effort made to keep himself upright. Such truths painted themselves in the way his form shifted to the right, onto the cane he’d so readily held in a death grip of sorts. This mismatched eyes of his still had yet to lift and meet Valan’s own, rather he took to making a face- kept sour by the growing frustration that begins to well up from deep inside his core. 

“ I had plans to take a seat soon, but there obviously is no chance for it now, “ Tone of his reply was light enough to avoid any potential upset in his friend. Yet, try as he might, Tiresias would fail to hide any ill feelings that had been left to fester since their last encounter. One where Valan did his own part in this dance of keeping one another at arm's length. Where both parties obviously care, yet not enough to acknowledge the truth. " But, I ought to entertain the bull that decided to rear his ugly little head in business where it does not belong. " 

A shift in Tiresias' form brought about the start of a swift movement, one where his free hand would rise to push Valan's hand off his shoulder. That alone was far more than enough to earn Tiresias a glower from his companion, visibly displeased with the nonchalant behavior displayed. Who would ever be pleased with the thought that their dear friend may have no ounce of self preservation left in their soul? 

" Your cheeky deflection isn't doing you any good, " Reply hit Tiresias' ears in the form of a mutter, finally doing its job in drawing his gaze up towards the other's own- where he would be met with an otherwise calm expression. Whatever irritation Valan previously held had all but washed away in his push onto something else. With this came the shift in his free hand, inching towards the cane Tiresias held. If he could succeed in that small gesture, then truly Tiresias would have no other choice but to take care of himself.

" I've not seen you slow down since you've had an opportunity to stand, " Words uttered were spoken slowly, obviously being thought out on the fly. With it came the care to not step on any toes, bring about any further upset that could rise should he strike a sour chord. As he succeeds in taking the cane, the hand atop Tiresias' shoulder frees itself to wrap the entire arm around the man's midsection. Use it to draw him close, inevitably trapping him there with little other choice but to stare on. 

" Come now,Tiresias, you can't look me in the eye and say you've not pushed yourself long enough today. "

A tip in further closes whatever personal space they had between them. It truly left Tiresias with nowhere else to go, save for the small shift in his form where he'd do everything in his power to avoid eye contact. Valan had to know what it was he was doing- the advantage he held over him in this position, where words left unsaid would rather sing in the smallest motions. A twitch of the wrist, fingers drawn down Valan's chest to rest firmly over tattoos. One small step in getting his space back whilst free hand went in for a swipe at the cane held just out of reach. 

So close, yet so far- had he not been so short then perhaps the wood would be betwixt his fingers.

" I am perfectly fine. " Lie slips past gritted teeth, let out into the open whilst Tiresias crumbled. Hand used to swipe for his cane swung back around in a desperate attempt to find purchase on the other's form. " I would be anyways. What sort of sick man takes another's cane? "

In a turn of unfortunate events a scowl has long since painted Tiresias' countenance. Gaze of his now levels with Valan's own, completely steeled for whatever may come his way now.

" One that wants to see you relaxed and not falling apart at the seams, Tiresias. " A pause, deliberately taken so Valan might slip the cane back into Tiresias' fingers. It was so obvious that the poor hume was quick to melt under the weight of those eyes- a stare that may very well bore two massive holes into his head with its intensity.

" I'll ask once more that you-- AH! " 

It would be his own moment of weakness that does him in, leaving Valan with a cane to the face. A blow dealt with such swift movement that it even left Tiresias to reel after he's freed from the other's hold. One step, then two, both arms thrown out to wildly flail about as Tiresias struggles to regain his balance. Damn. In retrospect this was a terrible idea. That much was clear once he’d fallen flat on his rear, left with no other choice but to point his cane up at the other man in what would be deemed a ‘threatening’ gesture. 

‘Don’t come any closer or so help me,’ Tiresias’ gaze screams, that cane of his wiggled about at Valan whilst the poor hume recovered from the blow. He sat back to watch Valan keep a hand by his nose, taking a tick to scramble further back and away from his friend. Brows knit, furrow with the tilt of his head to the side. Another wiggle. Valan had moved on to idly patting at his own nose, perhaps to check if he was bleeding before he’d all but calmly gone to shift attention back towards Tiresias. 

Ah. Shite. That wasn’t what he’d wanted, or expected.

“ Really? “ That sounded by far the most disappointed Tiresias has ever heard Valan be- at least towards him. Lips part, left agape once he’d caught sight of the smallest bit of blood smeared on the others lip. Ah. 

Cane lowers momentarily whilst the hume took the time to parse this. Only when Valan took a step closer would it rise once more in its menacing wave about- where Tiresias would continue his slow scramble away with a raised voice, “ Do not dare take another step towards me, I said I wanted space! “ 

“ Leave me alone. “ _I would prefer it if you did not see me like this more than you have to._ “ You do not need to waste your time around me, Valan. Go on. “ 

Despite it all, Tiresias’ voice wavered. The heart knows what it wants, though the mind happened to sing an entirely different tune- where he left the heart at the door to shove everything else aside. All for the sake of saving face. Even if such a thing would bring visible pain to Valan's own features. Oh, it was a sight that begged for him to fall right into his arms, where he knew everything would be alright and they could-,

" You are just as terrible as Quinfort can be, if not worse in some awful, unique way. " 

Statement uttered out loud forced Tiresias back into reality, outside the realm of his own mind where pretty pictures painted themselves in an ideal world. All forms of potential escape, both physically and mentally, slips through those fingers of his once more as Valan ignores physical pain in favor of his own concerns being addressed. A step forward, then another and another. Dip down onto one knee so he might give the cane held in the other's fingers a gentle push to the side so he might draw Tiresias in for an embrace. 

One in which Tiresias provided little to no reaction to. Such a thing would provide little comfort in light of their conversation- he truly wanted Valan gone for the time being. So be it. 

" Valan, I-, " 

" Quiet you. I will be back if you aren't home before sundown, " Valan certainly went out of his way to quiet Tiresias with a whisper, a promise to seek him out should he fear the worst may come to him or otherwise. All punctuated with a draw back from the other to brush hair out of the shorter hume's face, bring his hand down to dust knuckles over a cheek. 

Even if he had been bludgeoned with a cane- to the face no less- not even a quarter of a bell prior, he still cared. Cared enough that he would offer Tiresias this brief respite of requested alone time with an ulterior motive in mind. Quinfort would certainly be suitable company should he just _gently_ nudged his friend this direction. Well, with the proper reasoning it should work- something about the serpent would do fine. Right? Ah, that could come later, he muses, finally drawing himself up onto his feet with a smile.

" Stay safe now or I’ll chew your ear off later on in the evening. " 

Tiresias was still visibly reeling from the contact, that much was true in the lack of a coherent thought yet to be properly voiced. Rather, he’d be left with his lips parted, closing then opening again numerous times over before fingers were wiggled about in an awkward wave. What came next was the ever quiet, “ Right. I will certainly keep that in mind, Valan.”

That would be that. Valan would go his separate way, idly prodding at the obvious bruise that would eventually manifest upon his pale skin. And, well, Tiresias would take his sweet time with the rise back onto his own feet, heavily leaning on his cane in the struggle to parse what just happened. 

He would be fine, yes. All would be quiet and well- until Quinfort found him, that is.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning for NSFW

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for what you're about to be subjected to. To be honest, this was a blast to write and I thoroughly enjoyed it. And, I do not plan to look at it anymore. This is it. This is whats being posted.

Sweet sighs slip past parted lips in a moment of fervor, where the head tilts back for added affections to the crook of the neck. Arms snake up, around the taller’s form whilst fingers desperately seek purchase on whatever they can find- fabric, skin, hair. Desperation begets an even more enthusiastic response where lighter digits find their way into the other’s hair, drawing his head back even further in a gentle pull- not hard enough to harm him, no. But, rather just enough to elicit a lovely sound, the start of a song that would last the entire night. 

Eyes squeeze shut, fingers briefly tighten their hold on fabric and a name finally frees itself from Tireslas’ lips, _Valan_. A hum against already sensitive skin earns a wordless gasp, one squirm, then another. There’s a shift in his form, one hand loosens its hold on fabric for the sake of seeking out the other’s free one. Guide fingers over his chest, abdomen, further and further down still. A gentle shake of the hand eases Tiresias' own off him, to better focus on the sash around his waist. Let it drop so the skirt itself is loose enough to slip a curious finger or two past its waistline. 

Delicate touches bring Tiresias closer to what he has all but yearned for. A moment of intimacy shared with a man he loves. Finally brought to rest in the shadows, where he's gone so far as to dust a finger over the other's chest, seek out the other’s face buried in his neck no longer to press a kiss to the other's lips. Drawn out even as he felt a light touch brush over smallclothes, only to pull back with added pressure to already gentle movements. 

A gasp and an uttered plea that begged for more leaves Tiresias', head lolled to the side once more. 

_I love you, I love you. Please, I want more of you._

Sweet reverie makes it all too hard to focus once his own name finally reaches his ears. Brows can only knit, eyes squeezing shut as lips are drawn taut to the side. There it is again, called plainly as if to grab his attention whilst everything came to a stop. 

" Tiresias. " 

No, not yet. He's so close, yet so far from what he's only dreamed of. 

" Tiresias, my friend this is most urgent-, " Voice cuts off briefly once it all sank in. Everything became impossible to parse as eyes open once more, just to meet an all too familiar face. Quinfort? Wait.

" Ah shite, " A hand flies up before thought ends, brought up just to press square against his long time friend's face. Not necessarily with the intent to hurt him, but to rather gently push him out of personal space. It earned him the most hearty laugh, coupling a movement to remove the same hand from Quinfort's person. Right into his own where their fingers lace momentarily. Quinfort seemed awfully pleased with his stirr from being dead asleep. Enough to give the small man a pat to the cheek. 

" Now then, it is absolutely wonderful to know I haven't lost you to the land of dreams once again! " Another pat to the cheek was eagerly given on Quinfort’s part, no chance to speak offered as he rose to his feet for the sake of prattling on. 

As he does. 

Tiresias let a sigh loose, shifting to draw bangs out and away from his countenance. Visibly pained expression washes over him. It would make a hume rather grateful his tree of a friend had all but spun on his heels, hands held aloft whilst he dove right into the meat of what was ever so urgent. “ As you know-, “ 

In an instant Quinfort loses Tiresias once more. Mismatched gaze glossed over with a shift to rest his head against the bunk beds frame. Where he watches theatrics play out in a rhythmic motion- the sway of Quinfort's tail, how his hands flick at the wrists as he goes on his fervent rant. For all Tiresias knew he could have brought the end of this star up and he'd struggle to leave this exhausted trance. 

Rosy tresses fall into Tiresias' line of sight, forcing him to sit up once more- adjust himself and reach for his cane. He's quickly come to the conclusion that Quinfort desires company. This was such a thing he could easily provide, if not crankily so. 

" This said, it would gladden me if you would accompany me on this journey to seek out this location presented to me in a vision, " A whip of the tail and Quinfort has whirled around to grab Tiresias by the shoulders. Such a broad smile would not be denied immediately. Oh no, Tiresias was too weak to say no, giving an immediate, " Of course, " in a whisper. 

_Bloody white, this was going to end terribly, wasn't it?_


End file.
